The Day Jersey Shore was Blown Away

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So ‘Frankenstorm’ Sandy last night reached the Jersey Shore. I can only hope the cast of the show of the same name is blown away.

Poor Snooki, Pauly D and Co. It’s not their fault. Or is it? Why has the world suddenly become obsessed with set-up reality TV shows looking into the lives of intellectually challenged party animals?

Jersey Shore was finally cancelled this year by MTV. However, the cast still had six seasons to pollute the heart and mind of many youngsters. The show is MTV’s most viewed broadcast ever. And what were viewers actually tuning in their millions to watch? A group of eight housemates (not even from Jersey Shore it is imperative to add) who live it up on the coast in a party pad supplied by MTV who manipulates their lives into creating TV-worthy drama. There have even been claims the show is racist as it encourages the terms guido/ guidette to describe the Italian-American cast. The New Jersey governor sees the program as  “a project which does nothing more than perpetuate misconceptions about the state and its citizens.”

Despite being considered by many as total dross, the TV series has had a significant cultural impact. The cast are responsible for the extremely exasperating phrase “GTL”- that’s gym, tan, laundry i.e. the getting ready ritual. Then there’s the exceptionally annoying Snooki. Snooki is one of the world’s highest paid reality TV stars, earning $150,000 dollars an episode from series 5.

 Even worse than Jersey Shore is the string of spin-offs its popularity has encouraged. At least Pauly D and his crew are across the Atlantic; there is no escape from the clutches of Geordie Shore. The cast is even tackier than their American counterparts, lavishing themselves in an abundance of fake-tan, hair extensions, boob-jobs and false lashes. They even released the world’s first kebab-scented perfume, L’eau De Geordie. Puh-lease. The show proudly displays a parade of alcohol abuse, fights and nudity. Christopher Hooton in the Metro said “being shocked by the lasciviousness of Geordie Shore is like being shocked by the lack of nutrition in a Pot Noodle.” I couldn’t have said it better.

Then there’s The Only Way is Essex, not an official spin-off but it follows a similar formula. As if there wasn’t already enough pseudo-reality shows out there, MTV this year has released The Valleys: a Geordie Shore copy set in Wales.

 All this makes me want to scream. I do not understand the appeal. Most worrying of all, lots of young people these days actually idolize the cast of these shows. I see nothing aspirational about being a fake-tan dependent, two-dimensional “lad” or “ladette”, being paid for “partying” and “having sex” on TV (although the credibility of anything these people do is dubious) and spouting phrases such as “I should have a degree in pulling women”, “on it til we vomit” and “looking reem”. The casts of these shows have been parading in various nightclubs all over Britain and fans traipse along in there thousands to see them. THERE IS NO ESCAPE!

 At the other end of the spectrum, there’s the cast of Made in Chelsea. At least the party animals in this reality show are filthy stinking rich. I can understand why viewers would want to emulate their lifestyle. However, the cast are spoilt little brats who can’t act to save their lives. Why is this entertainment?

 I miss when role models were role models. And I miss class. Ms. Monroe would never have “got her tits out” on TV nor would she have gone on a “pulling spree” or a drinking binge. A change in the times? Yes. But also a change in attitude. It saddens me that this behaviour is acceptable and the cast of these shows considered total sex icons. I think it’s time we stopped putting the cameras everywhere and regained a little mystery, allure and elegance into our lives.

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One Response

  1. very entertaining read. I dont even watch jersey shore but was able to relate to it 🙂

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