Professionals v Amatuer

This is one of those things that work in my own head, but probably not so much to other people. Thought I’d write it down anyway.

Welcome ladies and gentlemen to the battle that everyone, well maybe not everyone but at least a few people are talking about. In the blue corner we have the paid Professionals, political party PR departments, political magazines, and theatrical companies. In the red corner we have the Amateurs, a mishmash of random people on the web. This is going to be a one-sided battle folks. Who could possibly compete with the amount of money and expertise that the Professionals have to play with?
As they eye each other up across the ring you can feel the contempt the Professionals have for their opponents.

They come to the centre of the ring for their instructions, the ref wants a good clean fight and for each to watch their low blows, the Amateurs chuckle at this, I think this may get nasty!

And the bell rings, the both come forward and engage.

The Professionals are first to let fly with a flurry of cringe worthy videos so fake one has to wonder if they’re throwing the fight. Apparently they call that webcamron and websamcam. Where do they make this stuff up?

The Amateurs answer with a cheeky dig into the ribs with a little flash game aimed squarely at the previous government.

The Professionals back off, looking a little wary; they may have underestimated their opponents. Grinding their teeth they jump back into the fray with a slick poster campaign.

Dancing away the Amateurs reply with devastating force as they pile on their own poster campaign, making a mockery of the Professionals attempt.

The Professionals are taking a beating here, I’ve never seen anything like it. The shake themselves off and deliver a huge haymaker, backed by a political magazine, a theatre company and dozens of well-known celebrities. A video designed to get the young people voting!

IT MISSES, IT MISSES!! I CAN’T BELIEVE IT!!!

The Amateurs smile at their opponents, they duck, weave and go in for the kill with the help of MC Nxtgen and House of the Rising Sun.

It is a devastating blow that KO’s the Professionals; they are not getting up from that one. The ref calls it and the Amateurs take their bows. This crowd is going nuts.

I’ve got goosebumps folks!

What a night of battle, how did the Amateurs manage to pull out a victory that stunning? How do they manage to create these things without making their endeavours look stupid? Is it to do with the fact the Amateurs are doing it because they believe in something and the Professionals because it’s just about the money?

I don’t know! I’m just a bloody sports-commentator.

Until next time, I’ve has been Patrick Brannigan, you’ve been great. Good night!

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One Response

  1. Entertaining piece and good use of the hyperlink, I watched every (amusing) video. I reckon the amateurs have more freedom to poke fun at the political individuals and their cringeworthy campaigns, as they don’t have the responsibility to come across as measured and thoughtful or serious. Having said that, Cameron doesn’t do himself any favours, those home videos are like something from ‘Garth Marenghi’s Dark Place’ – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bPqRpar4PyE.

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