Ken Bates – Father Christmas’s scarier sibling forgets about cheer and makes me queasy

When your chips are down and your club’s not fulfilling It’s potential, what better way to pick things up than to insult your fans and offer sex tips to them!….er?
Father Christmas's bizarre older brother

Good ol’ Ken Bates. When you’re bored with  people making sense, you just have to look at Santa’s bizarre sibling, listen and absorb. In times past he’s complained about being dealt a worse fate than Jesus’s last days, sacked more managers than had hot meals, shrouded Leeds United in ownership mystery and now for his latest act he has insulted Leeds United fans by calling them morons and made everyone cringe by comparing Leeds stunted rise through the leagues with seductive foreplay.

Now I wish I could laugh. I wish I could see these type of sound-bytes and comments and link the stories around my Facebook page to show how hilariously ridiculous an old-man cuddly Bates is. But I can’t. As a Leeds United fan who’s having to live through the wilderness years of lower league football after “living the dream” with champions league semi-finals and constant top-6 finishes, I just can’t. It’s like looking at a photo of a once healthy carrot and now finding yourself in charge of a green-ish, rotting carrot and then laughing at it for not being a good carrot. It’s just sad (and a terrible analogy).

I have friends, Derby fans, Manchester United fans, fans of any club south of the border really, who have been loving every moment of it. Facebook messages posted to me gloating and pub talk ridiculing. I can take a joke when I can give something back, but what? Beating Manchester United was two years ago and we’ve since been beaten by them, badly. Yet it isn’t the bout of rib-tickling or Bates latest rant that’s irked myself and other fans though. This is the tip of the iceberg. It’s Bates attitude over the past couple of seasons. His cloak-and-dagger approach to club ownership has rubbed up the F.A. and his media blanket (aside from contractual obligations of course) of the BBC and Guardian due to an unfavourable documentary about the club and David Conn’s anti-Leeds voice has made outsiders wary of what exactly is happening at Elland Road. I don’t blame them.

At the end of the day, we would like transparency. Bates has tried to show some by revealing he is the true owner of the club, but what about before? The F.A. would still presumably like some answers, as would the fans. And as for the financial safety of the club, all seems well, but where is the money coming from? Answers on the back of a postcard, and not one of those weird, beach-side ones with the half-naked cartoons on them. Don’t want Ken to start uttering anything about sex ever again, lest the whole of West Yorkshire implodes in embarrassment.

2 Responses

  1. Good article…it’s a shame a club the size of Leeds United is still not competing with the big boys. But I guess that’s the punishment for what happened all those years ago.

  2. I hope one day Leeds again reach the dizzying heights of the Champions League. They’re such a fantastic club with an awesome fan-base and such a prestigious history. The fans deserve more for their loyalty.

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